The Collection of Data
Our registration process... does not exist! Still, you might send us an e-mail or give us a call, in which case whatever personal stats you provide to us is at your discretion, right? To reinforce the only information about you we deliberately collect, it is basic, non-personalized statistical Data in the form of your click-paths, time on pages, entry pages, referring URLs, and a bunch of stuff that we are pretty sure you don't really figure we're going to use to take out credit cards in your name and go traveling abroad with. And if you think that buy our good-faith attempts to use things like "what keywords did our customers use to find us on the Internet Search Engines" infringes unduly on your privacy, well my friend, you are probably this side of paranoid. Trust us, we don't know as much about you as your mailman. Still, we may automatically receive general information that is contained in our server log files such as your IP address and cookie information (although we don't - deliberately or to our knowledge anyway - set cookies, see below). Information about how advertising may be served on this site is set forth below.
Use of Data, Collected or Otherwise
Children and Minors
We do not allow persons who are ages thirteen or younger to become members of this site. Actually, we don't allow anyone of any age to be members of this site, so there you go. If you are just totally worried about your child seeing a disrobed keyboard or office chair or something, we're sorry. We filed with the ICRA to make sure Internet Nanny software works to identify us as happy campers.
We may make changes to this Policy every now and again. Scientists refer to this as "eons" or "ages" - but hey, it could happen in your lifetime, who knows? If we do make some radical change to the site that impacts your privacy, we will notify you of this sort of thing. Either we'll post a big animated GIF on the home page or something, or we will better yet just not change things. But if we do, you'll be notified to the best of our ability. Not like we can e-mail you, given we never collect that information in the first place, right?
What the...? Didn't we just try to make you feel all at home and comfy above? And now we're saying, what, that we were just kidding? Ugh, these lawyers. So here is where we have to say that all the above is just sort of a general policy, and that while we are pretty sure we meant the above, we cannot guarantee any such standards of ethical business practice. Why we're not sure, but the lawyers are adamant about this paragraph, so here it is...
For example, there may be factors beyond our control that may result in disclosure of data. As a consequence, we disclaim any warranties or representations relating to maintenance or nondisclosure of Data. This is why we became engineers, friends - because by golly, when we say something, we don't turn right around and say we didn't mean it. Sorry, lawyers are just not human, and we paid them for this consultation, so we sort of feel like we'd better do what they say to keep from getting ourselves sued or whatever.
If you have any questions about our guarantee, warranty, etc that we failed to satisfy here, please feel free to contact our Administration and Webmasters.